A SAD STOLI

Posted: June 4, 2017 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

I thought I got this little bugger…

On January 23rd, I posted a recipe on this blog about herring appetizers my Mom would make and the Stolichnaya vodka she’d serve to wash them down. (http://wp.me/p1c1Nl-10B) My cousin, in the booze business, saw the post and passed it along to her friends at Stoli Elit, my favorite vodka. Next thing I know, a package arrived at my home, and inside was a big, beautiful bottle of Stoli Elit with a thank you card!

But…the seal on the bottle was broken…the bottle had been opened! I’m guessing that the intern in charge of sending my bottle to me reached into the big Stoli promotional closet full of bottles and accidentally grabbed one that someone took a swig from, and mailed it to me without giving it a good look first. So there I was…my favorite vodka in hand, but already opened. I really wanted to drink it…but I knew that I shouldn’t.

I didn’t have the heart to pour the vodka down the drain, so, with a deep sigh, I put the bottle in my garage until I would figure out what I could do with it.

Now, remember, this is a chipmunk story…

A week later, this little rat bastard tunneled through the area near the back door of my house. Suddenly, there was a hole in the ground that didn’t exist the day before. I had tried all the tricks of the trade in the past: smoke bombs, mouse poison…nothing worked. I don’t mind having chipmunks in my yard, but not tunneling right next to my house.

Suddenly, I had an epiphany: I would put that bottle of Stoli Elit to good use. I grabbed it, unscrewed the top, and jammed the bottle upside-down into the chipmunk hole, watching my beautiful elixir slowly gurgle its way out of the bottle and down into the underground tunnel system below my feet.

 

A reenactment of my “Stoli solution.” No actual bottles of Stoli Elit were damaged, and not a drop of additional vodka was spilled, during the photo shoot.

 

I covered the hole with a stone as a marker, and it remained unmoved for weeks. I thought my eradication was a success. No better way to go than drown in a bath in Stoli Elit, right?

Then, one day, a small hole, a new tunnel, appeared next to the stone. Maybe Stoli Elit is his favorite vodka, too.

I really thought I got this little bugger…

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